Friday, September 6, 2013


Sometimes I get along with the South, other times I don't.  Most of the time I feel like a square peg at best. Unfortunately, fall (my favorite season) is when I most feel like I don't fit in here.


Well, this:
It's seriously some sort of creepy religion to some people here.

And me?
I'm not mean about it; I feel  no bitterness...I just really, really, REALLY don't care. 

That usually provokes this reaction:
I feel badly, but I have nothing to offer.

Well, other than this:
I hate being such a buzzkill, but I can't help it.  I truly have zero interest in watching pro football players masquerading as college teams.  Nor do I have any interest in watching wasted, half-naked college kids, a few normal people, and a bunch of backwoods idiots unite around a tenuous sense of belonging.

However, I do believe I've found a solution.  You see, I am (and always will be) a fat kid at heart...which works out pretty well here.
Here's my proposal: I will promise to bring lots and lots of jalapeno poppers to social gatherings if you promise not to talk about football to me. Truce?  Good?  Good.

Jalapeno popper diplomacy, people.  Think about it...

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